Lack of Confidence: Know the Signs
Think of a time when you’ve talked with an athlete and they won’t look you in the eye. You know the type. Eyes down, intentionally avoiding eye-contact with you even when you try to tell them something good they did that game. Maybe you got frustrated with them because you thought they were being disrespectful, or they didn’t want to listen to what you were saying. Did you know these are signs of low self-confidence? When athletes struggle with low self-confidence, they may not be able to accept compliments easily and they may even over-apologize for parts of performances even when they won or excelled. As coaches, it’s important you recognize the signs of low self-confidence so you can better respond to the athlete in the moment and help them build confidence for the future.
There are many signs that indicate low self-confidence: negative talk or comparisons to others about their performance, fear of failing, trying to people please frequently and/or difficulty saying no, actively seeking constant reassurance and validation from others, withdrawing from the team, difficulty making decisions, and even physical actions (nervous fidgeting, fatigue, slumped posture) (Sissons & Wilson, 2024). Once you recognize these signs, be intentional about reaching out to the athlete. Let them know you recognize they may be questioning their ability and validate how they feel. Even if YOU think there is no reason for them to feel this way, that doesn’t change how they feel. So, acknowledge their feelings. One of the most effective ways to help them move forward is to have them think through evidence of their performance. Help them articulate what they doubt about themselves then help them find facts and evidence that shows the truth of the performance. It is important they know you, as the coach, are not upset or disappointed in them because of their performance (that this is not a “forever” feeling), or their performance does not dictate who they are as a person to you. Even if you don’t understand their mental state, take steps to help the athlete develop self-compassion and a fact-based perspective.
References:
Sissons, B., & Wilson, D.R. (2024, August 2). How to regain lost self-confidence. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/i-have-lost-my-confidence-and-self-esteem