“People who claim to be neutral soon show which side of neutral they are on.”

In Games People Play

by Eric Berne

Berne’s book examines how we interact with others in our relationships. It is a complex book, and I will be the first to confess that I did not understand everything. However, I did understand this quote! Some examples within sports might sound like this:

A. “Who are you cheering for?”
“Oh, I don’t care. Just want a good game.”
B. “Should we pick Yasmine or Rachel?”
“Both are good. I can’t choose between them.”
C. Should we take the team to A or B to eat?”
“I don’t care where we go.”

Berne highlights that professed neutrality may only sometimes reflect one's true stance. It suggests that individuals who assert impartiality may eventually reveal their underlying biases or preferences. This concept aligns with the notion of implicit bias, where we may unconsciously hold particular preferences or prejudices despite our explicit claims of neutrality.

If we are not biased, it shows that we are biased. If we do not have an opinion, is that true? Do you not care who wins? Are you sure you can’t differentiate between the two players? Do you really not care where the team eats?

Ask Yourself

Do I try to tiptoe the line of neutrality when I know I have an opinion but do not want to make a decision?

Are there situations where I claim neutrality, but I am not?

Can I detect implicit bias in myself and others? Does recognizing it in myself change my decisions? Should it?